i am enjoying the rubys suns and beach house alot lately, such beautiful music...and beirut...oh my gosh, AMAZING.
so...i got two jobs this week, BAM. but i got drug tested for the best buy one and ive had no reponse back, if its not diluted, its going to be negative...cause i smoked the night before.
but, these past few days my stupidity has completely left me..haha i mean idk, i have had no desire to smoke weed, or cigarettes, im working out everyday, looking good, and i am FINALLY happy with myself, i can finally walk in public with confidence and pride. i finally feel beautiful.
two days ago i had the worst birthday of my life so far, it seems like every year, they just get worse, so next year im not even having a birthday..im not going to tell anyone about it, its just going to be another day.
what hurts the most is that my dad knew i was feeling shitty, and he didnt do a thing about it, nothing to help me out, just acted like he didnt give a fuck. awesome. i seriously cried like 7 times because i cant stand hearing everyone in california on the phone wanting me to come back...i want to see my grandparents and my mom so bad. i dont even give a fuck about those so called "friends" i had, haha what a joke. who were those people? stuck up assholes who cant get over themselves and money and drama...get a fucking life! go outside and cherish the beauty of the WORLD, not what money can get you. how sickening, im so glad im outta there, now that ive discovered what true friendships are, and real people, i dont think im going to ever live there again. i want to move to portland or france anyway.
:]
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